Is it hard to forgive?

Is it hard to forgive?


How would you answer this for yourself?

In general people find it difficult to forgive. In particular, when all the facts point out clearly the fault of the others. When we haven’t done anything wrong but we have been unjustly treated.

Probably everyone reading this has had a similar situation in their lives.

If we are looking at forgiveness in this way, then it will be very difficult to forgive because we all have different internal measurements of what is ‘wrong’ and what is ‘right’, of what is ‘a lot’ or what is not, etc. People weigh things up, so it will always be a case of “my measurement against yours”, or ‘who has more right in the situation’. 

We have been taught to understand forgiveness as something we give of our selves to the others, something that we sacrifice of ourselves in order to give to others, or the biggest one is that we give up the fact that we are right when it is obvious that they are wrong.

In all of these cases forgiveness will be very challenging, if not impossible.

But what if…

What if we saw forgiveness as something we give TO OURSELF, something we invest in ourself rather than give to someone else?

In reality it is exactly what happens.

“Forgiveness” is usually defined as ‘a conscious decision to let go of resentment and anger’. So we release, we liberate the negative emotions and feelings that we harbour in ourselves.

The key here is ‘WE HARBOUR IN OURSELVES’.

All the emotions that we feel inside, they don’t affect anyone else but ourselves. Very often the person that we haven’t forgiven for something are not even aware of how we feel about them. So the person that suffers is not them, it is us. Therefore, by forgiving them, we in fact make yourself feel better. We release all those negative emotions that have been causing us harm, sometimes for years. When we understand forgiveness in this way it becomes a lot easier to forgive because we understand the personal benefits we reap from the act of forgiveness.

At the end of the day, we can choose how we want to act, to forgive or not. But some choices bring you peace while others bring you misery. 

Which one will you make?